Fear

Fear is often nothing more than our subconscious trying to protect us and keep us safe and alive. In our modern world, for most of us we, more often than not, we experience perceived fear as opposed to actual life threatening fear. The problem is that our ANS (Autonomic Nervous System) doesn't know the difference and physiologically sets your body's responses into motion. Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released. Your blood pressure and heart rate increase. You start breathing faster. This physical response to an energetic or emotional feeling like if you miss a deadline at work, is triggered in the same way as if a tiger were chasing you. This life saving reaction is designed to give us what we need to escape death and now we are left sitting at our desk with no release for the energy that was just produced.

What if we rewrote the narrative and didn't listen? What if we used fear as our friend or compass to let us know that we have arrived at our next ceiling that we are ready to break through!

So many moments in my life, I allowed fear to make my decisions for me and allowed my nervous system to get the best of me. If those moments, I can tell you that I truly believed that the choices I was making by running away or avoiding, were for my best and convinced myself that I was "protecting" myself. All I was doing was allowing myself to stay stagnant and even though I saw big things in my life, especially in romantic love, I kept myself safe and guarded.

More recently, when I feel fear creeping up, and it does often, living at the edge of my comfort zone, I simply do nothing. Nothing might look like taking a deep breath or three. Nothing might look like turning inward to my highest self and connecting with the only truth which is love. Maybe asking myself, "what would love do?" Nothing might look like withdrawing and taking some space to gain deeper clarity. There is nothing to figure out. In the stillness, peace and clarity unveil themselves.

“There is no illusion greater than fear”

~Lao Tzu

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In my Yin Yoga class, my instructor read this beautiful short story about fear from When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times by Pema Chödrön and I would love to share it.

"Once there was a young warrior. Her teacher told her that she had to do battle with fear. She didn’t want to do that. It seemed too aggressive; it was scary; it seemed unfriendly.

But the teacher said she had to do it and gave her the instructions for the battle.

The day arrived. The student warrior stood on one side, and fear stood on the other. The warrior was feeling very small, and fear was looking big and wrathful.

They both had their weapons. The young warrior roused herself and went toward fear, prostrated three times, and asked, “May I have permission to go into battle with you?”

Fear said, “Thank you for showing me so much respect that you ask permission.” Then the young warrior said, “How can I defeat you?”

Fear replied, “My weapons are that I talk fast, and I get very close to your face. Then you get completely unnerved, and you do whatever I say.

If you don’t do what I tell you, I have no power. You can listen to me, and you can have respect for me. You can even be convinced by me. But if you don’t do what I say, I have no power.”

In that way, the student warrior learned how to defeat fear."

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• What if instead of fighting, we asked fear why with wants and needs to be seen and heard?

• What if the next time we wanted to flea a situation, we paused for just a moment, closed our eyes and played out the what if game from all perspectives and from a more grounded space, made a choice based on what our highest self and values feel connected to.

• What if the next time we froze, we reframed it and congratulated ourselves for taking the pause when we needed to and allowed ourselves the grace of a moment before jumping forward or backwards.

If there is one thing I have learned in the last three years of continuously pushing myself into the realm of discomfort is that growth, expansion is that change ALWAYS feels uncomfortable. Learning to find the equanimity within discomfort is the journey. I understand that as humans, we will feel fear and dis-ease. It's the decisions we make during those moments that pave the path for our future. I have learned to not make any decisions when I am in a state of confusion.

Confusion to me, only means that I have not yet received enough information to gain full clarity. Once clarity appears, there often isn't a decision to be made at all, there is only one logical choice or direction. Be patient, and wait for the story to unfold. Tell fear that you see it. Let it know you are grateful for the protection it provides but then let it know that you are driving now and it can relax in the back seat.

All the love,

Pamela

Discipline and Dedication

Setting goals and cultivating an intention statement paired with a clear path of action steps, is only the preparation for moving towards fulfillment. Discipline and dedication are the fuel that will get you through to the finish line. Taking that time to set a SMART Goal and then actually pushing through the discomfort of initiating and completing each tiny action step, one at a time, is where progress and momentum take place. Without discipline and dedication, it's so easy to become bored or feel stagnant in the execution of a singular task as our minds begin to wander, or feel overwhelmed, anxious and instinctively try to avoid them. For me, I can sometimes be deep into a task and randomly get a thought that takes my attention away from mission at hand or get discouraged by all the effort I'm putting in before seeing the results come to fruition. Discipline and dedication are what always support me and pushes me through.

The practice is learning to discipline ourselves and sit within the discomfort of our ego and old self trying to convince us to escape the growth and transition you are asking of it. One of the egos main priorities is to keep us safe and life predictable. When we quiet our monkey mind and bring ourselves back to focus and remind ourselves of our intention behind this action step, that is when the growth and the change take place. The action of saying no to the impulses and holding strong to the intention is what makes us that elevated version of ourselves.

The ironic part is that when we set out to achieve something in life, we believe that achieving the goal is the transformation when in fact the process we go through getting to the goal is where the real growth takes place. In those moments of discomfort, distraction and avoidance, if we pause, notice what is happening and tell ourselves no, return back to the present moment, stay here, and finish the job at hand, that is how we train our ego that we are in charge and we choose to raise the bar of our lives and will not let anything distract us from this new reality.

"We don't necessary always get in life what we dream about,

but we do get what we are willing to tolerate,"

~ Regan Hillyer

In life, we can only reach the level of fulfillment that our identity allows us to, which is why it is so important to continuously take the time to notice where we are with compassion and gratitude, dream about where we would like to go next and begin our journey of elevation!

Meditation and breathwork are some of the best tools we all have at our disposal in every moment of the day, that can use to begin training our monkey mind.

• What if the next time you felt yourself being pulled away from the present moment, you paused, closed your eyes, and took a slow breath, counting in for 4, hold for 4 and exhale for 4 while noticing the subtle sensations and changes that you feel within your body. I invite you to do it for 3 rounds before opening your eyes.

• What if the next time you knew you had a task that you are avoiding, you closed your eyes and connected to the why behind the task and how the highest version of you would handle the situation, connect with, and embody that as truth and move through with confidence and pride.

• What if the next time we felt board or stagnant in a task, we asked ourselves, how can I notice the extraordinary in the ordinary and brought creativity and passion to all things we do.
  

Consistently reflecting on and redefining the baseline bar we set and the standards we hold ourselves to, is an important part of continuously elevating our identity. Feeling the desire for more, dreaming of the life where you already have it and then setting the intention to not settle for anything less.

In life, sometimes when we ask for a $1 and don't receive it from who or where we are asking, it can be easy to feel disappointed, but when we relax into the truth that everything our heart truly desires is already on its way to us. All we have to do is notice, receive and be grateful for the quarters as they come our way, with faith and patience, know that we will are always receiving what we need, in its divine timing. It just often doesn't look the way we expect or happen in the time we expected it.

All the love,

Pamela

Cultivating A Career Of Purpose And Passion

So many people spend forty plus hours a week at work. If the present moment is our true gift, are you squeezing the most out of your life? Many people hold the perception that you need to have a job to make money in order to do the things you enjoy doing but what if we actually made money doing the things we loved! Every day could be an opportunity for fulfillment of our best, highest self and our purpose in this lifetime.

In my training at IIN, I learned about the importance of the twelve areas of primary food, which are all the things in our life that nourish and feed us, the food on our plate being secondary nutrition. Career is such an important area to invest time into finding fulfillment and balance in, because we have the habit of spending so much of our time there. It's also important to note that what served us ten years ago, may no longer be serving our expanding self and we may need to check in with ourselves and reevaluate as needed. Choosing a career that stimulates, excites, and fulfills us verses drains, overwhelms, or bores us could mean the difference between living a healthy life full of vitality or feeling stressed, depressed, and unfulfilled, which can have dramatic negative effects on our overall health and wellbeing.

When we do what we love, and love what we do, it is one of the best ways to honor this life we have been gifted with. We have all come into form with innate talents and gifts that all too often can be overlooked because they come so easily to us. Finding that perfect overlap where we know what we are good at, how we can use it to be of services for the greater good and then receive an income for it, is the sweet spot where the magic happens. Going to work, no longer feels like something you have to do but something you look forward to because it allows your soul to sing.

“Whatever your life's work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.”

~Martin Luther King Jr.

I invite you to play with this quick exercise and allow your imagination to run, as you dream big.

1. What has always come easily for you, and find simple joy in the act of doing?

2. How could you use those innate skills and pleasures to sure the greater good?

3. Brainstorm your superpowers and passions to dream up an epic career journey.

4. Dive into dreaming about different career paths and imagine where they could take you in the long run.

5. Hang out with folks already living your dream field for inspiration, tips, motivation, and guidance. Also, vibrational calibration is a real thing!!!

6. Attend social events to create authentic connections that make you visible as an expert in your field.

7. Shoot your shot with potential employers, contact individuals in your field of interest and ask questions as well as put your name out there as a potential option if an opportunity presents itself. Remember, bring plenty of good vibes.

8. Remember, finding your dream career might be a wild ride with a few twists and turns along the way, so why not practice patience and contentment along the way and enjoy the adventure!
   

If cultivating a new career path isn't in the cards for you at this time, there are also ways you can enhance and love where you are and bring more fulfillment to your everyday work life!

1. Try projects that light a fire in your belly! Let your boss know what gets you buzzing – it's where you'll shine brightest!

2. Build your squad with folks who've got your back and cheer you on.

3. Embrace feedback like a boss and level up your skills.

4. Treat yourself to mini celebrations for hitting those milestones. Whether it's a quick massage or a leisurely stroll, nourish yourself like it's your main course.

5. Spruce up your workspace with some fresh blooms, a cozy chair, and motivational decor to keep those good vibes flowing.

6. When it's time to move on, keep doing what lights you up. Hunt down gigs that fuel your passions, and don't forget to stay in touch with your old crew. Networking is key!
   

Finding work that you love will nourish all areas of your life and overall health. Chances are, you’ll experience less stress, find yourself in a better mood on a regular basis and have more time and energy for creativity, while you connect to your greater purpose. Changes like this always take time, and I encourage you to find a slow, yet consistent pace towards doing what you love and loving what you do.

When we are able to show up for our days, knowing we are making the world a better place with our own little ripple effect, each moment is a gift and an opportunity to feel the love, peace and fulfillment that is available to each of us. When we truly know who we are and what fulfills us, we can gift the world with the present to our presence.

All the love,

Pamela